Healing from spiritual abuse is different from other trauma. Because it attacks your spiritual identity. Your faith in goodness. Your trust in humanity.
I feel like I could have written this myself. Except instead of feeling exhausted, I would actually get high off it (unless we were talking about money, then I would come away feeling like I had been placed in a rock tumbler).
But it wasn’t a grounded high. It wasn’t a sustainable high. It was a drug high. And it kept me in for 7 years. It was what I just learned from another article I read on here is called “dissociative expansiveness.” And it runs rampant in spiritual communities. Those who have mastered it the most tend to end up at the top, so the followers learn this behavior - in fact are encouraged to emulate it. And someone in this state is SO EASY to manipulate, because they don’t have their feet on the ground.
I love what Botis taught you - I have adopted the same philosophy. Especially with people in leadership. My therapist helped me with this tremendously. She said “narcissists are drawn to positions of leadership and power.” So I now start with the assumption that if someone has pulled themselves into leadership, they are operating from that place. Until they prove me otherwise. It works like a dream and I haven’t felt more anchored in myself in my entire life.
Yes, trust has to be earned and great to finally have learnt that.
We "spiritual people" are often very naive. Reality is kind and teaches us, when we are finally ready to listen.
The lessons aren't pretty and fluffy though - and the realization that "It's not me - it's YOU" is counterintuitive to what they thought us when entered the spiritual scene.
You have to work through years of conditioning.
People telling you that "You have to see it as a mirror and resolve it in yourself."
No. Thank you. The narcissism or the manipulation is not my fault.
It's my fault, that I haven't reacted earlier and valued my boundaries.
Yes, this is the ultimate mirage. While I do find value in taking 100% responsibility for my life choices (I can’t change anything in my life until I recognize that I ultimately hold the power), manipulation is also still a thing and is never your fault. This rhetoric (how can I find my part in this dynamic) also contributed to me staying for so long. And true narcissists, and others of the group b cluster variety, will take full advantage of that, milking it for all it’s worth.
I feel like I could have written this myself. Except instead of feeling exhausted, I would actually get high off it (unless we were talking about money, then I would come away feeling like I had been placed in a rock tumbler).
But it wasn’t a grounded high. It wasn’t a sustainable high. It was a drug high. And it kept me in for 7 years. It was what I just learned from another article I read on here is called “dissociative expansiveness.” And it runs rampant in spiritual communities. Those who have mastered it the most tend to end up at the top, so the followers learn this behavior - in fact are encouraged to emulate it. And someone in this state is SO EASY to manipulate, because they don’t have their feet on the ground.
I love what Botis taught you - I have adopted the same philosophy. Especially with people in leadership. My therapist helped me with this tremendously. She said “narcissists are drawn to positions of leadership and power.” So I now start with the assumption that if someone has pulled themselves into leadership, they are operating from that place. Until they prove me otherwise. It works like a dream and I haven’t felt more anchored in myself in my entire life.
What a beautiful comment, Tatiana! 🙏
Yes, trust has to be earned and great to finally have learnt that.
We "spiritual people" are often very naive. Reality is kind and teaches us, when we are finally ready to listen.
The lessons aren't pretty and fluffy though - and the realization that "It's not me - it's YOU" is counterintuitive to what they thought us when entered the spiritual scene.
You have to work through years of conditioning.
People telling you that "You have to see it as a mirror and resolve it in yourself."
No. Thank you. The narcissism or the manipulation is not my fault.
It's my fault, that I haven't reacted earlier and valued my boundaries.
So much to deconstruct here.
Yes, this is the ultimate mirage. While I do find value in taking 100% responsibility for my life choices (I can’t change anything in my life until I recognize that I ultimately hold the power), manipulation is also still a thing and is never your fault. This rhetoric (how can I find my part in this dynamic) also contributed to me staying for so long. And true narcissists, and others of the group b cluster variety, will take full advantage of that, milking it for all it’s worth.