You heard me talk about self-love in different ways in the past and in this article I want to continue to look from different angels on this topic.
Love is the cosmic constant, that is the focus on every stage of your spiritual journey. There is only one rule, that applies – doesn’t matter where you are: You always deserve more Love, not less…..
Self-Love – The Basics
First, let me make one point very clear right at the beginning. When I’m talking about Love, I’m not talking about the lovely feeling or the butterflies in your stomach, when you meet your beloved. Of course, there is the feeling of Love and it’s wonderful, but the feeling part is only one tiny part of Love. The thing is, that you don’t have to like in order to love.
In fact, there will be many things appearing in your consciousness, that you won’t like. Don’t try to like them. Don’t look for the feeling of Love either.
To love yourself means, to let yourself think, feel, behave and look exactly the way you are at the moment.
If you are feeling shitty, you are feeling shitty. No need to change that or grab your best psychological or spiritual tools, to make it go away.
No need to throw Reiki lightening bolts on these feelings, to make them disappear.
You see, it’s not very loving, when feelings appear, that you don’t like and you are trying to kill them.
So whatever you are feeling, just put your hands on your heart and repeat the 3 magic words – saying to your heart, that is the heart of the universe:
„I love you!“. Let these magic words soothe your overstimulated nervous system and make them the most common words you speak to yourself in your own mind.
Don’t try to love others!
In our (religious) culture, we are raised with the belief, that we have to love others first and foremost. We believe, that altruism and loving others should be our main goals and prevent us from being egoistical..
Let me tell you this: Altruism is the egos way of trying to commit suicide.
Besides the fact, that it obviously doesn’t work and history shows, that most (religious) wars and crimes are committed in the name of „altruistic love“, it doesn’t work this way.
Instead fill your bucket full with Self-Love, love yourself until you are so full of Love, that you are overflowing with it and naturally everyone around you will profit from it.
It’s much easier this way. You also don’t have to try to be more loving to others and don’t have to do Love. You don’t have to live by some „golden rule“ and remember them to be more altruistic. When you are full of Love, this is your natural state! What a relief!
Meditation is Self-Love in action
I like Zen a lot. Zen is pure, crystal clear and straight.
The main meditation in (Soto) Zen is called Shikantaza – just sitting.
It’s the easiest thing in the world and I have written about meditation in this article before.
„Just sitting“ means to sit with whatever you are at the moment. It means to not change anything inside – not your thinking, not your feeling.
Just be, how and whatever you are. – don’t try to know what you are or to „understand yourself better“. No need to work on yourself, no need to transform or transcend. Just be yourself exactly the way you are!
You see, this is another way of describing self-love.
Just be the way you are. This way, meditation is Self-Love in action!
Who is loving whom?
Somewhere along your journey, you may come across the question, who is loving whom in Self-Love? Lets make it easy for you, by giving you an answer to this question: It’s not your ego, that is loving.
See, your ego is not able to Love – it’s the hurt inner child, the overstimulated nervous system, the victim of abuse.
Your ego is where the Love is aimed at. It’s on the receiving end.
What is giving the Love, is your Soul (your true self, your higher self, whatever you want to call it).
The good thing is, that while the Ego is not able to Love, it’s the most natural thing for your Soul. So everyone is doing, what they can do best here – a win-win situation!
So the next time you watch yourself trying to love yourself, just realize, that you have mixed up the sender and the receiver! It’s that simple!
Oh, enlightenment. Our final goal. Our spiritual ego (this is the part of our ego, that think it can get enlightened) has this cosmic carrot tangling in front of its innocent nose.
Here is some minty fresh insight:
Your ego can’t get enlightened. Your soul already is.
Again, don’t mistake yourself for being the ego. The ego is there to be loved and your only job as the soul, is to be a spirit guide to your ego and love it along its way.
You as a soul are already perfectly enlightened, that’s why you came here to help your ego on its healing journey. So just do your freaking job! ?
I hope this article has helped you in finding a new approach to Self-Love.
There are some nuggets of wisdom in it, and it may help to reread it once in a while.
Much ❤️ and until the next time,