This is the end, my friend, the end.

The Doors

I love to write articles on spiritual topics and I get very positive feedback and encouragements to write more by my readers.  My articles seem to help and people report deep insights. That’s beautiful to hear on the one hand but on the other hand something undeniable happened during the past weeks: writing suddenly stopped.

It’s not just that writing stopped, but all seeking ceased and with that also all spiritual insights I could write about. Also there is nothing (nor anyone) left to teach. 

That’s not all though – with that, the whole spiritual setup has ended. 

The surprising part is, that spirituality didn’t end with finding something nor did the „final enlightenment“ happen through some kind of insight that shattered all illusion. Sorry – no fireworks. What happened could maybe better described as the realization of an absence: the absence of the seeker (or teacher).
No teaching. No student. No search. No finding.

The end of spirituality. Just sobering up to what is… Nothing spectacular at all.

Getting sober

I have written a lot in the past about the separate person being an illusion and how you can apparently transform into beingness or awareness to end the illusionary separation from God.

In all of this, there was the subtle presupposition, that what we are in truth is „infinite awareness“ (or God, Oneness etc) and „we“ can be aware of that. 

That has dissolved too. There is no aware-er anymore and with that also no awareness.

During a lifetime of spiritual searching and teaching there can be the impression, that there is an evolution from some kind of „smaller self“ to a „higher self“.  The shape and qualities of this „higher self“ may change over time – it may be a soul, consciousness, awareness, beingness, God or just some form of an „integrated person who has figured psychology and spirituality out“. It doesn’t  matter how you call it, in the end it still is some form of (higher or bigger) self, you seem to evolve into. The important word here is „seem“, because it is only apparently so.

It is unfortunately (for the self) not true. You are not evolving into anything, simply for the fact, that there is no „you“. No „you“ like in zero.

Sorry, but you will never get enlightened – that maybe sounds like bad news, but on the positive side I can tell you that no one has ever become enlightened. It’s just a spiritual myth. All there ever will be, is THIS and nothing more (but also not less). I call it „getting sober“.

Total disillusionment

The end of the (spiritual) journey is total disillusionment. It is like getting sober from a dream called „there is something else“. We get drunk on that and are filled with hope.. until  the realization happens, that there is no „something else“ and „it“ will never come. 

For the apparent separated self this may sound like resignation and it will do anything to keep up its version of a deeper meaning through (spiritual) seeking. It may sounds like this: „Come on! There is God (Oneness, a higher self etc) and you will experience it and become one with it! Bliss on!“ 

This is what keeps the seeking and with it the illusion going – but only apparently, because seeking is just a dream and there is no real illusion.

There are many teachers and methods that will fuel this hope. I was one of them. They are not wrong or bad, but they are utterly meaningless, because there is not only nothing to evolve into, but there is no one there who could evolve.

The death of a psycho-somatic illusion

This message and this article won’t help you at all. It’s just a description of what already is the case. This can be experienced as frustrating for the spiritual seeker, but it won’t get anything out of it.

In a way this is death, but with no one dying. The only thing that apparently died was the psycho-somatic illusion of Atmos – the spiritual seeker and teacher. 

The „I“ seems to be more than just a thought. It’s an experience of „I am here“ or „I am aware“ that can be located in a body. Even if it is located as awareness beyond the body, it’s still a sense of here-ness or presence.

“I am” is the core of the illusion and not some lofty goal you need to develop into.

The “I am” presence was always subtle there until it fell away too. First it felt like becoming „unconscious“ in a way, but that also proved to be another mind-trick. One could say, with the total absence of a person in any shape or form (or even formless form) there is no one who is aware or conscious and therefore also no need to „become more conscious“. Who would do that?

Becoming a „conscious being“ IS the dream.

And now?

I have absolutely no idea. It’s a miracle that this article got written. It makes no sense and has also no expectation to make sense. It doesn’t help nor wants to. It’s utterly free. Anything can show up – maybe things get written or this is the last post I’ll ever write. 

The death of the seeming separated self is not an achievement – and no, Atmos didn’t realize his own absence. There never was an Atmos as a real individual, so this has nothing to do with achieving anything.

Everything is still exactly the same – with the minor difference, that the dream of separation has ended.

There may be further articles coming to this blog. If there will be the „Mystical Mentorship“ offering in the future though is questionable, since it was fueling the dream of „getting somewhere“.  We’ll see where this is heading. One thing is for certain: it will be a surprise for every- and no-one! 🙂


Atmos ?