Why I Stopped 'Healing' My Students
She came to me after the session, tears in her eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she said. "You're the only one who really understands me. You're the only one who can help me."
I felt flattered. Needed. Important.
And for the first time in my career as a healer, I also felt something else: Unease.
Not because of her gratitude. But because of her dependency.
In that moment, I realized: I hadn't healed her. I had made her addicted. To me. To my sessions. To my interpretation of her reality.
That was the beginning of the end of my career as a traditional healer.
And the beginning of my work as a Sovereignty Guide.
The Seduction of the Healer Complex
Let me be honest: It's an ego trip to "heal" people.
You feel powerful. Needed. Special. As if you possess a rare gift that others don't have.
People come to you with their problems, and you solve them. They come hurt, and you make them whole. They come confused, and you give them clarity.
You become the solution to their problems. The savior in their distress. The guru in their chaos.
And they love you for it. They worship you. They recommend you. They write you thank-you messages.
It's intoxicating. Addictive. Dangerous.
Because you can overlook what's really happening: You're making people dependent on you instead of bringing them into their own power.
The First Red Flag
It started with small things.
Clients who wanted to book the next appointment immediately after every session. "How long does it take until I'm healed?" "What happens if I take a break?" "Can you help me between sessions?"
People who called me in emergencies. During emotional crises. For important decisions. As if I were their personal hotline to the universe.
I told myself: "They trust me. That's a good sign. That shows my work is effective."
Bullshit.
It showed that my work was making them weaker, not stronger. More dependent, not more sovereign. Needier, not more autonomous.
But I was too in love with my healer identity to see it.
The Anatomy of Therapeutic Codependency
What I was practicing was therapeutic codependency. A system where both sides benefit - but in an unhealthy way.
My clients got:
Temporary relief from their problems
Someone who took over their responsibility
An external source for answers and solutions
The illusion that healing comes from outside
I got:
Money and financial security
Ego validation and the feeling of being important
A clear role and identity as a "healer"
The illusion that I was really helping others
It worked. For everyone. Superficially.
But deep down, it was toxic. It kept people small. It made them dependent. It robbed them of their own power.
And it made me complicit in their disempowerment.
The Moment of Awakening
Everything changed when a long-term client said to me: "I feel like I can't function without you. You've become like a drug to me."
The word "drug" hit me like a blow.
Was that what I was? A spiritual dealer? Someone who made people addicted to an external solution for their internal problems?
I began to see my other clients with new eyes. The woman who had been coming every week for two years and still had the same problems. The man who panicked when he had to reschedule an appointment. The client who needed my opinion for every small decision.
They all had one thing in common: They hadn't become stronger through our work. They had become more dependent.
And I was the dealer.
What Real Healing Actually Is
In the weeks after this realization, I went through my own crisis. If I wasn't "healing" people, what was I doing?
The answer came through my own healing journey: Real healing never comes from outside. It comes from activating the inner healing power that already exists in every person.
My job wasn't to heal people. My job was to remind them that they could heal themselves.
Not through me. Through themselves.
Not from my power. Through their own power.
Not through dependency on me. Through connection to their own source.
That was a fundamental paradigm shift. From "I heal you" to "You heal yourself, and I accompany you in the process."
The Difficult Transition
The transition wasn't easy. Neither for me nor for my clients.
I had to learn to pull back my ego. To no longer be the hero. To no longer be the one with all the answers. To no longer be the savior.
My clients had to learn to take responsibility for their own healing. To make their own decisions. To trust their own answers.
Many weren't ready for this. They still wanted me to solve their problems. To tell them what to do. To take over the responsibility.
These clients left me. And that was okay. More than okay - it was necessary.
Those who stayed began to experience a different kind of healing. A healing that came from within. That was sustainable. That made them stronger, not weaker.
The New Methodology
Instead of "sending" energy or "healing" people, I began to teach them to connect with their own LUX essence.
Instead of giving answers, I asked better questions.
Instead of offering solutions, I helped them find their own solutions.
Instead of making them dependent on me, I brought them into their own sovereignty.
The sessions became shorter. The intervals longer. The dependency less.
People began to have their own breakthroughs between sessions. They made important decisions without asking me. They developed trust in their own inner guidance.
The paradox: The less they needed me, the more they valued our work.
The Resistance of the Healer Community
When I started talking publicly about the dangers of therapeutic codependency, I got pushback from the healer community.
"You're sabotaging your own business," they said.
"People need longer-term guidance," they argued.
"You're underestimating how helpless some people are," they warned.
But I saw the truth: Most healers had a business model based on dependency. Healthy, sovereign clients were bad for revenue.
The longer people stayed in therapy, the better for the healer. The more dependent they became, the more secure the income.
The system was designed to keep people small.
The Liberation Alternative
Becoming a Sovereignty Guide meant developing a completely new business model.
Instead of relying on dependency, I rely on transformation. People come for intensive but short processes. They quickly learn to help themselves. They become sovereign and go their own way.
Instead of relying on repetition, I rely on empowerment. People leave me stronger than they came. They don't need me anymore, they choose me.
Instead of making them clients, I make them colleagues. People who know and can use their own power.
This is riskier for me. But more honest. And ultimately more satisfying.
The Transformation of My Clients
The change was dramatic.
People who had been trapped in therapies and healing sessions for years suddenly began to live their lives. Make decisions. Take risks. Pursue their dreams.
They stopped constantly analyzing what was "wrong" with them and started living what was right with them.
They stopped seeking healing and started living their wholeness.
They stopped asking others for permission and started trusting themselves.
That's real healing. Not the temporary patchwork of external intervention, but the permanent activation of inner power.
The Price of Honesty
This transformation cost me money. A lot of money.
People who only need one or two sessions instead of years of guidance generate less revenue. People who become sovereign buy fewer services.
But they refer more. They come back for important breakthroughs. They become partners and colleagues.
And most importantly: I can sleep at night because I know I've really helped people. Not just superficially, but fundamentally.
The New Definition of Success
I used to measure my success by how many clients I had. How full my appointment calendar was. How dependent people became on me.
Today I measure my success by how quickly people no longer need me. How sovereign they become. How much they come into their own power.
The best compliment I can receive is: "I don't need you anymore, but I appreciate you all the more."
That's Sovereignty Guide work. Bringing people into their freedom, not keeping them in new dependencies.
The Invitation to Honesty
If you work as a healer, therapist, coach, or spiritual teacher: Be honest with yourself.
Do you make people stronger or weaker? Do you bring them into their power or into dependency on you? Do you solve their problems or help them find their own solutions? Do you make them more sovereign or more helpless?
The answers are uncomfortable. But necessary.
If you're a client or student: Be equally honest.
Are you getting stronger or weaker through this work? Do you trust yourself more or your healer more? Do you find your own answers or adopt theirs? Are you becoming more sovereign or more dependent?
The Future of Healing
The future doesn't belong to healers who repair people. It belongs to Liberation Specialists and Sovereignty Guides who remind people that they were never broken.
People don't need repair. They need activation.
They don't need healing from outside. They need remembering of the healing power within them.
They don't need dependency. They need sovereignty.
That's the way forward. Not more therapy. More liberation. Not more healing. More empowerment. Not more dependency. More sovereignty.
Are you ready for this revolution?
If you want to learn how to bring people into their sovereignty instead of making them dependent on you, then my Energenetics® Practitioner training is the right way. Here you learn to lead people to their own power - while building a more fulfilling and honest business. Expected from early 2026 - sign up for the newsletter and don't miss the entry!
The time of therapeutic codependency is over. The era of sovereignty begins now.